To prevent regrets, do this now

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

There are a lot of things that are great about reaching middle age. For instance, you become more comfortable with who you are, what you like to do, and who you’d rather spend your time with. You also see the compounding effect of the work you’ve put into building your life begin to take shape. But middle age also comes with its own set of tradeoffs. Perhaps none is bigger than being reminded more and more of our own morality on a regular basis. 

Whether it’s a sudden illness or unexpected loss of a friend, family member, or co-worker, the idea that tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone – a phrase that might have previously fallen on deaf ears – suddenly starts to smack us right in the face. While nothing is going to change the reality that no one knows with any certainty when their time will be up, this reminder can serve as a call to action.

Am I being intentional about how I’m living my life?

It’s so easy to make the case that the sub-optimal situations we’re subjecting ourselves to at this moment are only done in service of a better future. And while that might indeed be the case, we should still ask…

Accepting that the future isn’t promised, does that change how I want to live today?

Now this isn’t some YOLO exercise where you figure out a bucket list of travel destinations. It’s a reminder to take a hard look at how you spend time and who you choose to spend it with.

In Bronnie Ware’s book, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, she shares the top five regrets her palliative care patients express as they approach the end of their lives:

1) “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” 

2) “I wish I hadn't worked so hard.” 

3) “I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.” 

4) “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” 

5) “I wish I had let myself be happier.”

Chances are one or more of these statements hits home as you consider your life. But do you see the common thread among these regrets? They all trace back to our relationships – whether it’s with ourselves, family and friends, or time. 

Luckily, improving our relationships is something within our control. We just need to be more intentional about investing our limited time and energy into them. And the best time to start is the only time promised to any of us – right now.