Photo by Nicolas Horn on Unsplash
My oldest child has been binge watching Ted Lasso and I’ve enjoyed re-watching some older episodes with her. We recently caught the darts scene from Season 1.
In the scene, Ted shares a quote by Walt Whitman (or not, as the internet seems divided on the source) and it’s one of my absolute favorites…
‘Be curious, not judgemental.’
Just four words — but boy do they pack a punch.
The relevance in our lives is endless once we start applying this mantra. For example…
How often do we judge our past decisions – financial and otherwise – before unpacking what really led us to those decisions in the first place?
How quickly do we rage at the person that cut us off in traffic without ever wondering what might have happened to them that morning that meant they needed to rush?
And perhaps the one we’re all guilty of…
How often do we immediately dismiss someone that we disagree with, without ever considering how or why it’s possible they might feel differently?
In another quote I love, Viktor Frankl reminds us there is space for curiosity.
‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’
The judgements we make feel immediate but there is space between how we feel and how we choose to react. It all starts with awareness. And while it takes time and practice to build that space, the benefits are immense when you do.
When you replace judgement with curiosity, you become more relaxed and empathetic.
When you create space between how you feel and how you choose to respond, you tend to make better decisions.
This combination, practiced and returned to over time, might just be the best approach for maintaining your own sense of control and autonomy over your life — in a world that can feel more and more chaotic each day.